Anonymous asked: At the start of you even developing feelings for someone who was taken, you probably should've stopped there. just think of it this way, if he can fall inlove with you whilst being with someone else, who's to say he won't do it too you...
you do realize I’m polyamorous and I’m completely down with and encourage/support being work as many people as you want, right
i literally don’t understand people who think solely about monogamy.
monogamy itself to me often feels boderline abusive as a concept.
think about it:
two people mutually agree to maintain such control and ownership over each other than it’s some grave offense to love others & to acknowledge that different people and intimacy between any pair (or more) people is going to be different and valuable in different ways. that you can enjoy many peoples’ company and indulge in intimacy without needing to exclusively own another person and have some implied 5ever long relationship.
i feel like polyamory is more human-centric, it’s more about valuing relationships and people whereas monogamy focuses on the need to exclusively own another person for that person to have value.
but maybe i’m just nonsensically rambling.
THANK YOU I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE UTTERLY GROSSED AND CREEPED OUT BY MONOGAMY
Monogamy can also be “We mutually feel happy having each other as our only romantic and/or sexual partners. This relationship is fulfilling to us in that way and we aren’t interested in having other relationships of this type.”
I’m a poly person who currently has only one person in the world I feel completely comfortable with as a partner, and I am entirely okay with this. I can completely understand someone being happy with a single relationship like this without it being a creepy ownership thing.
Also, some people are into creepy ownership things, and as long as it’s consensual and negotiated, there’s nothing wrong with that either.
Course, most of the society I live in uses a form of monogamy that’s more like what you guys are describing than what I’m describing. But that’s not a problem with all monogamy, that’s a problem with a) a particular kind of monogamy and b) having a whole society’s expectations of romantic/sexual relationships be built on a single model.
I feel like labeling what you described as monogamy is a little iffy. Like, in the abstract there’s nothing wrong with someone male-identified and someone female-identified being in a relationship and only a total douche would say otherwise, but the construct of heterosexuality is absolutely an institutional blight on society.
I mean, obviously the root problem here is that English doesn’t make emic/etic distinctions between incidental human behavior and the social institutions governing human behavior. The best way I could rephrase this would be “monogamy is fine, but Monogamy™ is creepy and evil.”