Anonymous asked: At the start of you even developing feelings for someone who was taken, you probably should've stopped there. just think of it this way, if he can fall inlove with you whilst being with someone else, who's to say he won't do it too you...

lady-brett:

velartrill:

andqueer:

neoliberalismkills:

you do realize I’m polyamorous and I’m completely down with and encourage/support being work as many people as you want, right

i literally don’t understand people who think solely about monogamy.

monogamy itself to me often feels boderline abusive as a concept. 

think about it:

two people mutually agree to maintain such control and ownership over each other than it’s some grave offense to love others & to acknowledge that different people and intimacy between any pair (or more) people is going to be different and valuable in different ways. that you can enjoy many peoples’ company and indulge in intimacy without needing to exclusively own another person and have some implied 5ever long relationship.

i feel like polyamory is more human-centric, it’s more about valuing relationships and people whereas monogamy focuses on the need to exclusively own another person for that person to have value.


but maybe i’m just nonsensically rambling.

THANK YOU I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE UTTERLY GROSSED AND CREEPED OUT BY MONOGAMY

Monogamy can also be “We mutually feel happy having each other as our only romantic and/or sexual partners. This relationship is fulfilling to us in that way and we aren’t interested in having other relationships of this type.”

I’m a poly person who currently has only one person in the world I feel completely comfortable with as a partner, and I am entirely okay with this. I can completely understand someone being happy with a single relationship like this without it being a creepy ownership thing.

Also, some people are into creepy ownership things, and as long as it’s consensual and negotiated, there’s nothing wrong with that either.

Course, most of the society I live in uses a form of monogamy that’s more like what you guys are describing than what I’m describing. But that’s not a problem with all monogamy, that’s a problem with a) a particular kind of monogamy and b) having a whole society’s expectations of romantic/sexual relationships be built on a single model.

I feel like labeling what you described as monogamy is a little iffy. Like, in the abstract there’s nothing wrong with someone male-identified and someone female-identified being in a relationship and only a total douche would say otherwise, but the construct of heterosexuality is absolutely an institutional blight on society.

I mean, obviously the root problem here is that English doesn’t make emic/etic distinctions between incidental human behavior and the social institutions governing human behavior. The best way I could rephrase this would be “monogamy is fine, but Monogamy™ is creepy and evil.”

(Reblogged from lady-brett)

Anonymous asked: At the start of you even developing feelings for someone who was taken, you probably should've stopped there. just think of it this way, if he can fall inlove with you whilst being with someone else, who's to say he won't do it too you...

andqueer:

neoliberalismkills:

you do realize I’m polyamorous and I’m completely down with and encourage/support being work as many people as you want, right

i literally don’t understand people who think solely about monogamy.

monogamy itself to me often feels boderline abusive as a concept. 

think about it:

two people mutually agree to maintain such control and ownership over each other than it’s some grave offense to love others & to acknowledge that different people and intimacy between any pair (or more) people is going to be different and valuable in different ways. that you can enjoy many peoples’ company and indulge in intimacy without needing to exclusively own another person and have some implied 5ever long relationship.

i feel like polyamory is more human-centric, it’s more about valuing relationships and people whereas monogamy focuses on the need to exclusively own another person for that person to have value.


but maybe i’m just nonsensically rambling.

THANK YOU I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE UTTERLY GROSSED AND CREEPED OUT BY MONOGAMY

(Reblogged from andqueer)
naturallybent:

go for it!

naturallybent:

go for it!

(Source: questionall)

(Reblogged from zjemptv)
(Reblogged from kittensandscience)

tercentumquadragintaquatuor:

velartrill:

tercentumquadragintaquatuor:

What trips me up about learning German is the noun/adjective order.  Now in English, for the most part the adjectives go on the left and the nouns after: the red barn, the blue duck.  The, ah, winter soldier.  And in German?  It’s exactly the same thing.

This may seem like a weird thing to get tripped up by, but I’m a Quebecer.  I’m not exactly bilingual, but I’m also not exactly not bilingual, and my second (not-)language is French, which does it the other way around: la rivière jaune, le cheval rouge.  (Le soldat de l’hiver?)  I think that other languages I’ve had a bit of exposure to, like Spanish, do it this way too.  When I conlang, I stick to that order pretty much automatically.  It appears that my brain has internalized the rule that non-English languages go noun-adjective, and now I have to teach it that that is not in fact the case.

YEP ME TOO

It’s such a weird thing to be confused by, though, right?  It’s like, This works exactly the same way as it does in my native language.  WHY IS THIS CONFUSING.

Brains are generally really bad at distinguishing L2 languages, at least in my experience. I never conflate English (my first language) with Spanish, French, Arabic, Swahili, or even German, (well, sort of; Arabic syntax has started to interfere with my English a bit) but I have on multiple occasions begun a sentence in German or Spanish and finished it in Arabic. So if your first L2 language has noun-adjective order, your brain is probably going to slip up and try to apply that grammar to your third language.

(Reblogged from tercentumquadragintaquatuor)